The Struggle Before The Triumph In Being In A Long-Distance Relationship


Long-distance relationships are hard. And when I say that I don’t mean because of the obvious. Unlike The T.V. Show, 90-Day Fiancee, Chris and I don’t glorify our relationship with cameras. That is not “reality” to us by any means. Reality involves family, tears, frustration, pain, joy. It means living life as if the person you’re in the relationship with is living it with you side by side instead of miles between you.

Chris and I have been through our fair share of the unexpected events that is easily summed up as life. (And we continue to go through.) you know, I used to be so curious about what it was that made a person “tick’ but after everything life has continued to throw at Chris and I am less and less concerned about others, and more concerned about us. And how I can I be the best partner for him from miles away. I know that all these tests we are facing will turn out to be testimonies of strength, partnership, faith, and, most importantly a love that withstands unthinkable challenges.

I jokingly said to Chris recently, that ”this serves me right for finding my “the one” on Facebook.” That was my feeble attempt at lightening the mood. But, honestly, I hate feeling so helpless when it comes to being physically unable to help one another-the distance feels as though I am falling down an endless rabbit’s hole. And if I feel like that, I can’t even imagine what he feels like when the tables are turned.

I know I should probably be more than used to this helpless feeling especially since literally everyone I care for is going through something unimaginable, and all I can do is offer whatever support I can while watching helplessly every day, day in and day out. But I am not. I will never cave in and let my emotions become bitterness, and resentment though. That won’t help anyone I love and that certainly won't help Chris and I overcome what we need to overcome to be together.

Being in a long-distance relationship is not for those with weak hearts, and a faulty sense of self, or for someone with trust issues. Chris and I are just two people who want to have our own forever like everyone else (but still one that is unique and original all at the same time.) Chris and I are just two adults who love one another deeply and all we simply want is to live a full and happy life another. And I am here to vow this right here, right now we are facing many challenges at the moment, but no matter how many we have to overcome; and no matter may still remain when the distance isn’t added into the mix when we will be together and we will withstand this.

The result of having so many trials to face is that Chris and I are pros at it. We have had plenty of practice in overcoming the adversity that has been thrown at us since the start of ours. I wrote in one of my mighty articles “that when you’re born into adversity you do not know how not to fight.” And that is the absolute truth for what Chris and I have to overcome some of which I am in disbelief about. But Chris and I are both hellbent on coming out of this stronger, better, and most importantly TOGETHER.

Contrary to what everyone shares on social media (and that’s quite a lot these days) life is not always as perfect as what we share, pin, or tweet about. Let’s be honest no one wants to show the real side of life. Why? Because, it’s ugly, scary and so so messy. And I suppose that is because Chris and I both have the same disability we both have been given this unique ability to see and preserve life in such a way that the average can't see.

Because most people see things from the view of their own bubble. I strongly believe that standing with someone, and supporting them, and staying with them to walk through the debris at the end the storm that is the epitome of loving someone If you can smile and laugh with them in the goods times than you can stand with them, soothe them, and comfort them by wiping away tears of pain that the latest storm may bring.

But this kind of love, I am sad to say is very rare. We always say that we teach by example, but I think its more than that because people and their example of that “love” can change and turn out be all consuming and self-centered. And social media like anything else can display filtered illusions that can not only trick the eye but also the mind into believing the illusion. That Is why I feel so incredibly blessed and immensely proud to know with an absolute certainty that I have found something that will withstand anything life throws at it with my Chris.

I also would like to clarify that by no means is this piece a declaration of “My relationship and partner are better than yours” by any means. This is just a simple piece of writing that I hope shows some much-needed hope and faith in a world where loves consists of swiping left or right, liking, and private messages/texts rather than truly getting to know someone past their “about me” tag on their profile.

And I can honestly say it is an absolute blessing to know and continue to know such a man as like my Chris. God does answer prayers. Not on your time, but instead on his when you’re ready to receive them. And God has certainly sent me the best of the best when he sent me Chris. And I vow never to forget how precious this gift he has given me is.

Written By Jessica Niziolek

Bio: I am a freelance blogger, disability advocate, and poet

Facebook: @msjnizauthorpoetadvocate