I always think about when I will see you again. 4,921 is the distance in miles separating you away from me. 21 is the number of hours between us. The silence in my room is broken only by the steady and low whirring of the air conditioner, the faint plaintive voice of the muezzin calling the faithful to prayer from the minaret of the mosque, echoing to me across the Musheireb walls. And as I sit down at the corner, I find myself terribly missing you. And the thought of seeing you again one day is the only thing that’s coming into my mind.
Yes, I will be seeing you again one of these days.
And I will no longer envy the people who get the chance to see you and talk to you every day.
I will no longer sleep with your photo next to me. There will be no more ghost of absence haunting my room in each moment and the cold and crumpled sheets will one day turn into a warm and comforting one.
I will no longer be wrapped in sadness and pain of not having you around. I will no longer lock myself in the bathroom when I miss you.
I will no longer miss the quiet time of the day when the bustle in the streets outside will subside. When the sun is dropping low in the sky, mottling the dark-green leaves with speckles of gold and mauve and I know that in a moment, night will swiftly descend.
I will no longer crave for your touch, your lips softly touching mine. I will no longer miss the way your body radiates into mine and how the embers of your heart glow with love and happiness in each moment that we’re together doing things that we love.
I will no longer miss your beautiful eyes, your sweetest smile, your nose and your lips that formed an attractive silhouette.
I will no longer miss the way you snore and the way you sleep.
I will no longer miss when filling my day with you and just sitting on your lap.
I will no longer pretend you’re bringing me foods and we’re sitting side by side on a bench, talking about the past and seeing the future.
I will no longer pretend of closing my eyes and pull my soft pillow over my face and think you’re breathing next to me.
I will no longer miss the late nights' talk over a glass of red wine or a dinner. I will no longer miss you kissing my forehead while playing with my silky rumpled black hair. I will no longer miss that tangy and elusive scent that fills my nostrils and always tease my senses. I will no longer miss you on late cold nights, our bed somewhere there with those crumpled sheets and soft pillows around us. I will no longer miss waking up with you every morning, waking up with your touch, waking up with your voice and waking with the smell of a cup of coffee.
I will no longer miss your presence in my life.
I will no longer listen to the sound of the wind to hear you whispering your love to me. I will no longer miss you crying about the distance between us. I will no longer miss your breathing over the phone 4,921. miles away from me because one day, you will just be an inch next to me.
One day, the distance will never terrify us again.
I will no longer miss you.
It is because one day, there will be no distance, no hours, no ocean and mountains that will ever separate you from me.
I will no longer miss you because one day, you and I will no longer be pulled apart in two different worlds.