LOVE LETTERS: My Private Deep Well Of Memories And My Emotional Fingerprints

"There is a paradise in every LOVE LETTER that says, I Love You. Always remember to hold that thought." - Bea C. Pilotin

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Years ago, I used to receive handwritten love letters and over the decades, I still have those love letters and notes being kept. I treasured even the silly ones and have all those letters and notes arranged chronologically, too. The letters were written on pieces of papers, fast fading after all these years, as rigid as as the old autumn leaves during the autumnal equinox.

Now, I have realized that being an incurable romantic, I’ve received and sent love letters, too. And, I have always put the best and loveliest words in it. It has been more than decades and it’s just only now I have realized that love letters really last. Perhaps, it’s because words are formidable and passionate. It's because words, just like flowers, have their scents, too.

And here are just some of my private deep well of memories, my essence and my emotional fingerprints. I re-read these heartfelt excerpts of love letters that made me like a heroine of an old romance novel.

"I have done quite some reading because I wanted to know what this thing called, ‘LOVE’ really is. And what I read then came out us merely words- words that made sense but still merely words. Until suddenly today, I actually felt that they meant- knew deeply what the word conveyed."

"I really want to grow old with you- that it will be a real great joy to just sit by the window of your apartment 50 years from now, each on our own rocking chair. Just talking about the past and all that. It may be fun being with you, daydreaming about old rocking chairs and reminiscence."

"If the heart has a memory somewhere in time, in a vast lingering landscape of the mind- these words will forever be inscribed- You will always be my one and only love."

"I can honestly tell before God that I love you as truly and as deeply as I am, capable of loving as a man and as a human being. Please, always know in your heart that I'm always thinking of you."

"Let this one dozen of white roses tells you that I'm terribly sorry about what happened. I just couldn't control myself. It was just a kiss. I never expected you to cry. There's nothing wrong. Anyway, nobody saw it."

"What is this nonsense about getting angry with me? Did you have to include the LOVE we shared together in your romantic foolishness and that you wouldn’t want to see me again? Here are the 3 red roses with this note to tell you how sorry I am. I really am so forgetful when it come to dates. You have to remind me, Darling."

"An immeasurable thank you for being a part of your life, your world and your body. Life is peculiarly great having you by my side. It has a rainbow of colors each day. Thank you for loving me that much. I couldn't ask for more."

The loveliest excerpts of love letters that took me back to my first kiss during those long, long summer nights:

“When I met you, I never failed to pray that someday in our lives we could build a history together and create a classic relationship.”

"I put your precious letters on my study table few steps away on my bed so that when I woke up in the middle of the night, I can touch something that belongs to you. Your beautiful face is always my favorite lullaby to sleep."

"Tired eyes won't close. Mind is restless with facing thoughts of you. Every moment, since then, I miss you."

"I will always love the first time I met you on that beautiful sunny day- the sky was blue, filled with puff-ball white clouds. You were standing on the vast garden spread out in the stone paved terrace of a restaurant. All things remained motionless- except a blink of your beautiful eyes with that long and curly lashes and the most amazing curve of your lips. It was the loveliest of smiles that moved my heart to its place.. The smile that seemed to fill the empty places of my heart."

"You are the most amazing woman who is always stunned by the beauty of the night with its bright stars playing hide and seek under the opalescent moon."

"I terribly miss the way you grin when you’re up to something. I miss the way you pretend not to notice me when I do something silly. I miss the way you pamper me. I miss you in each cup of coffee I smelled in the morning. I miss you mostly at night especially when waking up in the morning. I miss those silly things whispered at night and those jokes told in the morning. I can't wait to kiss you. I'll see you soon, Darling."

And here's the most heartbreaking letter that made me weep and had those terrible sobs that wailed through my room. With those deep shuddering sighs, tight chest, burning eyes and blowing nose, I let it slammed hard while squatting on the floor with my back against my bed as I read this:

"By the time you read this letter I shall have been gone. I requested Dad to give this to you when time has come. I have lots of things to thank you for. First is for loving me more than yourself. I know about the difficult crossroads you have encountered because of me. Without your knowledge, I came across to your collection of letters and notes. I never expected that you have treasured  even my silly ones and to have them arranged chronologically, too. You really are some woman!

I'm sorry to see you cry. I'd watch you sleep with tears on your cheeks while I pretend to be asleep. I wanted to hug you but you needed the rest. And I'm afraid I was weak. I did not want to see you cry, too.

I knew that I have cancer and that the tumor they took out was a malignant. I begged my family not tell you and told them to be strong for me.

How much do you mean to me? It's immeasurable. It surpasses the counting of infinite numbers. It goes deeper than the abyss of the ocean. It rises higher than the tallest mountain. And stretches beyond the farthest sea. It goes beyond the limits. Over the horizon to the deepest pits.

I may have taken you for granted at times but I never loved you less than the first time I saw you. You are a God's gift to me. I never regretted a single moment of my life because of you.
I prayed that I won't suffer a prolonged coma. And that my exit would be peaceful. I knew that your pain would be tripled to see me suffering.

Do not stand on my grave and cry. I'm not there. Don't think of me as departed. I will always be with you in spirit. Never forget...I LOVE YOU"

Sigh. Shed tears. Dry a tear. And that's perfectly okay, Darling! 

Yes it's true, an old-fashioned LOVE LETTERS are our own ghost of kisses past and our true secret self. It always leaves an amazing trace- perhaps a bittersweet that makes our soul sigh and moves us to tears after reading or a passionate one with those modicum of truth that made us blush, smile, giggle, and the one that makes our heart skip a crazy beat

So, what are you still waiting for? Grab the most beautiful and scented stationery; your most elegant pen and gather the most compelling and impressive thoughts. Sit on a vast garden spread out in the stone paved terrace flooded with a beautiful sunrise on the amazing sunny morning when the sky is blue, filled with puff-ball white clouds. With those whiff of daffodils mingled with the sweet-heavy scent of rajanigandha under the weeping willow tree.

Feel. Write. Pour your heart out. Reveal the beautiful truths in your heart. Confess your special feeling to the recipient of your letter. Then, sign the letter with a romantic nom de plume. Sealed it with sweet kisses and tie with beautiful and colorful ribbons. And see how your heart skip a beat when that someone will acknowledge the receipt of your letter. See how that beautiful curve on your face will lift afterwards, perhaps the loveliest of smiles that tilts the earth to its axis!

Written By Bea C. Pilotin

Author Bio: I'm a woman who is passionate about coherent words. I love Ben Affleck because he has a name like my Dad that sounds like freshly laundered sheets flapping on the air. - Facebook: @beapilotin