How God Saved Me

Written By Beanca Patrice Abilo

Author Bio: Aspiring writer - Twitter: @vieilleamee

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When I was a child I believed in a God I never knew
I believed that what everyone was saying about Him was true
God is omnipotent, loving and merciful
For believing in Him, I never once considered myself gullible
 
As I got older, I finally saw the world for what it was
It was cruel and dismal and left the weak in the dust
It enticed me with so many alluring temptations
I had forgotten that God sent His only Son for my salvation
 
Countless demons haunted my already fragile mind
The writhing pain I felt everyday made me so blind
I began to question You and all that I believed
I questioned Why do You ignore me as I lay here and bleed
 
Was I speaking to You when I closed my eyes and prayed?
Or was I just talking to the bare walls I saw every day?
I questioned Your existence and everything written in the Scriptures
I pushed away the thought that there might be a bigger picture
 
The pain that flowed through my veins I could no longer stand
It was then that I decided to take matters into my own hands
I took a blade I found on the kitchen counter
I wanted to slash my wrists and close my eyes to the world forever
 
At that moment I thought no one would miss me if I left
That my departure from this earth would probably be best
But You stopped my hand and the blade fell to the ground
Suddenly the world grew quiet, devoid of all sound
 
God stood before me, the One I had never met
He wiped away the tears from my eyes and said something I could never forget
""My child, I have loved you since the day of your birth
Do not let false whispers in your ears determine your worth
 
I have created you with my own hands out of infinite love
I have always watched over you from my Throne in heaven up above
There is nothing you could do to make me love you less
Just trust the plans that I have for you are what’s best
 
You asked Me for strength so I gave you obstacles to make you stronger
You asked for a purpose so I gave you a mess so you could be my messenger
You asked Me to heal the ones you loved but they wanted to come home
Home to heaven, where they would never again feel so alone
 
I never asked you to be perfect, to be free of sin
So give Me your troubles because with Me you will always win
If you get lost I will come and find you, even if you walked away from Me
My love for you runs deeper than the indigo sea
 
Where you see your scars, I see the battles you have won
Believe me when I say, the journey I have in store for you is far from done
Where you see your disheveled reflection in the mirror,
I see my child who has become a mighty warrior
 
Where you see nothing but your brokenness
I see the child that I love, a work in progress
Where you only see pain, I see the purpose I gave
My divine Son became Man so that you could be saved!
 
If you need to fall, fall into My arms
I will chase the demons away, I will calm your storms
I know you may not feel it but I am always there
And when you need to talk to me, just engage in prayer""
 
My worries and doubts dissipated into thin air
I realized that He would not give me more than I could bear
I was recruited to be in His divine army
I realized He needed to cleanse my eyes with tears so I could better see
 
We look for alien life in space light years across
But we forget the life that God gave us when He sent His only Son to die on the cross
It is because of His mercy that from our sins we were saved
It is because of His love for us that we are no longer slaves
 
I will never forget the day I was saved
From the numberless battles and wars that I braved
God will not hesitate to save you too
He is merely waiting for you.