I Found Me

Written By Amy Steadman

Author Bio: I write in the moment, with no filter to my feelings. I am honest, open minded. - Social Media Link: @amysteadmann

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I take my hat off to the kids who have lost a parent. The children who think that they’re weak because they’ve had a few rough days and they’ve cried a few times. The ones who feel like outsiders to their peers because they grew up too fast and have a wise head on young shoulders. You should be so proud, because it’s not easy. It’s frustrating but you are strong, don’t give up. There’s a blessing in every curse. We are here to support others the same as us, we are strong in different ways. 

Growing up I recall my dad telling me I had a wise head on young shoulders. For a really long time I hated it, throughout my teenage years I had desired to fit in and became frustrated when 9 times out of 10 I realised I simply couldn’t. However I’m now in early adulthood and have found that the desire to fit in is no longer burning, neither is the desire to stand out. I have come to find that I have a passion for standing for what I believe in and to be carefree in so many ways. For once I have the upper hand. 

After my dad died I decided to focus on being a normal eighteen year old for a while instead of a middle aged woman giving her hand of life experiences and words of wisdom. It was eventful to say the least. There was moments of laughter, lots of them, tears more than originally anticipated. I decided 2016 was the year to throw myself into things pretty recklessly, and I’m so glad that I did. We’re in 2017 now and I am the most open minded person I’ve ever met. There were plenty of times in 2016 that I really wanted my dad’s advice and things were really pushed to a limit and the only person I had to depend on was myself. So in 2016 I found me, and by me; I mean the real me. 

I’ve learnt that time changes everyone and what you thought you wanted at some point in your life becomes something you could rather do without. Your character grows stronger and you are able to walk away from things that once had a hold of you. You walk away because these things no longer serve you happiness and you realise in that moment that you deserve better.