Written By Anna Kaye Gilbreath
Author Bio: Anna Kaye is a Tennessee native currently administrative professional in the sunshine state. She is a caffeine addict and make up junkie. She write about hard things. and hopes people will realize they aren't alone - Website: www.akgilbre.com - Twitter: @akgilbre - Instagram: @akgilbre
"It's not working out. We have to let you go."
These are words I don't think I will ever forget in my entire lifetime. That's the thing about words. They become embedded into our soul and we remember them forever no matter what we do to try to forget.
I remember sitting in my boss' office after hearing these words and feeling like the floor could no longer support me. My heart stopped in my chest. I felt my stomach fall. My mind was filled with confusion and disappointment. Anxiety and uncertainty were my defaults. The accusations quickly followed.
Why am I such a screw up?
What is wrong with me?
How will I support myself now?
I remember unlocking the door to my apartment and went to my bathroom sitting on the floor and feeling completely empty and hopeless. This is the type of situation they never tell you how to deal with in college.
You followed the plan they told you would lead to success only to be thrown out into the world and navigate it yourself. Now you're left with your heart torn, tears in your eyes and a broken identity.
I have been in this same situation where everything seems hopeless, where there's no light at the end of this dark tunnel. You wonder if anyone sees or cares what you're going through. I promise I understand completely what you're feeling.
The waiting can be crushing and frustrating here are a few things that I've tried when this situation has happened to me. This has happened more than once and it never gets any easier.
Allow yourself to feel: This feeling sucks. That's all there is to it. No words to sugar coat it. It cuts you to the core. It's ok to curl up in bed for a day and watch netflix and zone out. It's a type of loss. Take some time to self care.
Find your support group: Friends, Family, Church wherever you feel comfortable find people to help you know you won't go through this alone. They can offer encouragement and hope through this time. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable with them.
Learn something new: Research something you've always wanted to learn. I've taken some free courses at the library, listened to some podcasts. These are some resources that allow me to keep my skills sharp and offer some perspective.
You're going to be ok. I know it's cliche' to say but I promise you will be. It doesn't feel like it right now. I promise this is not the end of your story and you have so much more to give.