Written By Anna Frozen
Author Bio: A twenty-year-old fourth year chemical engineering student who has a penchant of writing blog posts. - Website: annachlorine.wordpress.com
I promised myself over and over again to patch the bleeding of my heart.
I always did.
But it would always be opened whenever he was around, like my heart would all of a sudden start bleeding, never giving me a chance to place band-aids on them. And it was always the situation. Sweet.
I never intended falling myself into a spiral of emotions for him. This bottled feeling inside my chest was about to burst out. I wanted to tell him so badly how I felt for him because keeping these feelings to myself was a heavy weight on my part. I wanted to set an appointment where the two of us could talk, heart-to-heart. Losing him would always be the outcome if I would do that–the thing that I should have done a long time ago.
Either way, I could and I would lose him and maybe I am ready to let him go but before that, I want to have this thing called closure with him before we would never see each other again. How poetic.
I am still caught up in the past that we had, wishing it had never happened in the first place because it hurt me a lot. I never knew these were the repercussions if I fell too hard and too fast. He hurt me and he didn’t know that.
It always killed me a lot when he would talk about his girl to his other friends. It always killed me that when the both of us were alone, there was this awkward air hanging around us. But he would initiate the talk all the time.
And with that, I ran out of band aids to patch the wounds starting form.