Written By Hollie Ramsey - Hollie is a retired renaissance faire director turned blogger. She lives in East Texas with her intellectual redneck husband and their two adorably silly children.
Are you shy? Introverted? Too passive or just not as bold as you would like to be? Here are fifteen ways you can become a stronger, bolder, and more confident person in everything you do.
“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.” — J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
1. First things first: REDUCE THE STRESS IN YOUR LIFE.
Drop out of the clubs and organizations that are dominating your free time. Finally pay to have that leaky roof repaired. Send your crazy destructive dog to obedience training. Bring order to your cluttered home. Cut ties with a drama queen friend. Do whatever it takes to bring calm a hectic life. Less stress equals a happier you. It's much easier to feel confident when you're happy!
2. Start the day by listening to high-energy music with a positive message.
Even sing along or dance around to something fun and cliché like, the theme from Rocky or "We are the Champions” by Queen as you get ready for work, school, a big presentation, etc.
3. Find your own personal anthem.
Choose a song that best represents you and your journey to becoming a more confident person.
4. Pay attention to your personal hygiene.
No matter your style or personality smelling good, feeling fresh and having good breathe at all times can make you more appealing to others and that in and of itself is a great confidence booster.
5. Stand up straight!
Standing tall with your head held high will not only make you appear more confident, but you'll FEEL confident as well. Get into the habit of doing this by walking about your home with good posture. Practicing yoga can also improve your posture and increase your self-awareness and confidence as well.
6. Learn from your mistakes.
Dwelling on what you've done wrong will only bring you down and can cause you to resent yourself. Self-resentment is the ultimate confidence killer! No matter what you've done, forgive yourself for being human, change your plan so you don't repeat the same mistake and try, try again.
"Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave." - Mary Tyler Moore
7. Get in shape.
While losing inches and pounds may make you feel better about your physical appearance, seeing and feeling your endurance and stamina increase is just as good. At first you could only run a few yards, then you can run a mile and now you're on your way to the Boston Marathon! Also, improving your overall health can and will make you a much happier person and as I mentioned before - it's much easier to feel confident when you're happy.
Practice good body language and communication skills when you're alone. Stand in the mirror and practice a big bright smile or making eye contact (yes, with yourself!) practice standing up straight, strutting, flirting, small talk - anything you feel you need to improve upon to make yourself more assertive and approachable.
If you lack self-confidence in a certain skill, practice it! Take classes, research or watch online videos to improve your singing, cooking, public speaking, guitar playing, etc. And remember: don't practice something until you get it right - practice until you can't do it wrong!
9. Collect inspirational quotes and write fun confidence boosting memos that say things like "You rock!" or "Hey sexy!"
Hang them up in your cubicle, tape them to your dashboard, write them on your mirror in lipstick, have them printed on a coffee mug, memorize them - whatever you want to do to help the words sink in and remind you that you are an awesome person.
10. Read motivational books that can guide you to self-confidence more thoroughly than a quick article or blog post.
11. Don't be afraid of stares.
"I love this neon pink dress but if I go out in it, I will get stared at!" "I shaved my head bald and now everyone is staring at me!"
Um, so? Being stared at isn't as bad as you think. Stares mean you're eye-catching, being admired or you're simply being noticed.
What you're most likely worried about is what's going on in people's noggins when their eyes settle on you but what you need to realize is a person's facial expression while they're eyeballing you might not have anything to do with you at all. You probably caught their attention just as they were thinking about something negative or troubling like, "Ugh, I can't believe my kid got lice again."
I used to get horribly offended when I caught a stranger looking at me in public. Now that I'm a little tougher, way more confident and know that eyeballs can't hurt me, I get offended if someone doesn't look at me. I'm thinking, "Is no one going to notice how awesome my makeup looks today?! And these sunglasses were a dollar! Someone notice my sunglasses!"
Yes, this can be you soon. HA HA!!
12. Don't worry about what others think about you.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do." - Eleanor Roosevelt
Unless you're constantly hearing that everyone thinks you're a rude or hateful person - you don't have much to worry about. If someone expresses that they think you're a Satan worshiping witch because you wear all black everyday then that's THEIR problem. Not yours. (Yes, I have experienced this.)
But seriously if everyone thinks you're a jerk you might want to do a bit of soul searching to find out why and what you need to do to fix that.
13. Venture out of your comfort zone.
Go to a different restaurant. Visit a relative you don't know very well. Go to a crowded party. Confront a bully. The jolting sensation of trying something new that you're not particularly fond of doing is always a good experience no matter how awkward it is and it will also give you the confidence you need to tackle even bigger adventures and tougher problems.
14. Accept and cherish compliments. I can't stress this enough.
Let positive feedback and high praise stick to you like Velcro. Let the words lift you up and coat you like honey. I understand that sometimes receiving compliments and praise can make you feel a little uncomfortable but learning how to simply say "thank you" instead of arguing or questioning the person’s sincerity is a confidence building exercise. If you want to really be bold - GIVE compliments.
15. Build a fan club.
Send a few texts or post on social media that you're consciously making the effort become a bolder and more confident person. You'll be surprised to see how many people will stand up and cheer you on. You'll instantly have a group of supporters and a few might even message you back offering testimonies, love, and great wisdom.