An Open Letter to The Used, The Abused & The Abusers

Written By Jocelyn Wallace - Website: jocelyngrace.com Twitter: @jocegracefully


There comes a time when you become crippled by the hardship that has stripped what was left of your self-worth. When you feel like a fool for thinking you have taken the high road by not fighting for what you have been promised. The truth is, as much respect you think you're going to get for putting your head down and just rolling with the punches, it is setting yourself up for enduring more abuse. The kind that embroils you in debt because the employer refuses to pay you what they owe you. They send people to ask you what is wrong because their true intent is to warn you if you don't just let it go you could end up like Jimmy Hoffa. When the abuser has the audacity to trash your work ethic after raising tens of thousands for a particular fundraiser (over a hundred thousand after a few years. . . ) and refuses to give you your cut by screaming obscenities to defend a fire-starter. It was perfectly orchestrated to make you look bad. 

They try to make it seem like you were incompetent. This particular fire-starter has been trying to make you spark by purposely dropping the ball and pointing those fingers at you. So when this employer calls you to scream obscenities at you and threaten you that they will trash you to every potential employer in your field, You just move on. . . you go into another industry thinking everything will be alright. This happens to many vulnerable people. The abusers analyze your situation and they calculate what they can get out of you and how they can continue to manipulate you. There is always someone exposing your vulnerabilities to these abusers. If you're a very nice person and are patient, forget it. They will walk all over you. The minute you stand up for yourself they accuse you of having a chip on your shoulder. You're being a b!tch. You're insubordinate. I can't refer someone that is crazy.

A person I once trusted was the very same person who contracted me to this employer. He pretty much relayed I had no support system. Daddy wasn't there. Mother is too far away to care. Do what you need to with her. You don't have to pay her that much. Tell her she didn't really bring more donors. Say you did all her work or we had others do the work too and that they should be compensated over her. It's ok if she can't pay her rent next month. I will tell her she does not have to be on the street. She can come live with me again. . . 

The used and abused are naive that there are people this cold and calculated. That they manifest in greed and abuse, because once upon a time they too were abused and think it is okay to treat others that way. It's modern day slavery. It's so easy to do this nowadays. The economy is horrendous. Everyone is out to get experience to get their foot in the door. Nowadays to even be an intern they want you to have experience as an intern somewhere else. Even an entry level job they want you to have years of experience. . . 

Years have passed, but the wounds are still there. They are like deep cuts I have attempted stitching, but after so many falls they keep reopening. They keep reopening with every single person that calls me to tell me something new that was said by my abusers. One in particular should be in a better place and not fall so far beneath him to continue telling his tales. 

The beauty of being in a new industry is you can start fresh. Now a very similar situation has risen with a very talented CEO that like me is experiencing what I did a few years ago. This affects all of us. I am hellbent on how our legal system does not protect us from this type of abuse in an affordable way. The cost is so great that litigation may not be worth it at all.  Luckily, between myself and my coworkers, she has a great support system to help her recover, but it has affected me. It brought back those dark memories. The memories of always walking on eggshells. Being manipulated to stay loyal. A few hours ago I felt as if there were cinderblocks on my chest and I could not catch my breath. I never thought these dark memories could trigger such terrible pain. 

After this feeling, I thought I need to take them to court. I gave them a few years to pay me what they owe me. I have not seen a penny because they think they have the court system on their side. So be it. So what if I could end up like Jimmy Hoffa. I'm dead inside. I feel worthless enough by the very words you have said. I'm just another girl who made it out of the hood who needs to prove herself. She is Latina. We can get her to snap and she probably has a low IQ. I mean she was dumb enough to throw us another fundraiser when we haven't even paid her for the other.  

To the abusers, you have children who one day will enter the work force. Because you have walked over people like myself for your own gain, you will probably be able to provide your children a better life than my parents could. Maybe you'll be able to pay for their finances while they are enslaved and they will be okay. I'm sure you look like G-d's gift to earth for taking credit for my work. You'll probably have so many great connections that you could not even share with me even if you were screwing me over. You'll be able to help them go on to bigger and better places. I ask for you to do one thing. Please, don't allow your children to do what you did to me.