To My Almost

Written By Niña Jean Comanda -  I wake up in the middle of the night just to write. Website: @NJComanda

Everyone has his or her own side of the story. Maybe that was the reason why we did not end up together. We did not hear each other out. We were too busy trying to pretend that there was something but at the same time, nothing. 

You were not the type of person who’d admit his feelings, nor was I. You were the person who would show affection towards the people you be fond of. I admit, it confused me, not because you were showing me that you were interested, but because I wasn’t the only one you were interested to. It bothered me so much because I was the kind of person who needs assurance, and you never gave it to me. 

I wanted you. You alone. I wanted to be the reason why you smile everyday, I wanted to be the person you’d cancel out plans just to be there for me. I wanted to be the only person you think when you’d wake up. I wanted to be the reason why you check your phone every 10 seconds hoping that I’d text back soon. I wanted to be a priority to you. 

I wanted a lot of things from you that you couldn’t give. It was like, I was waiting for lifelong before you realize that I’m the girl you want and need. I adjusted for you so I could be the girl who’d ride with you in a longer route just so I can spend time with you. I’m the girl who’d make an effort just to see you and I’m the girl that would answer your calls at 3 am in the morning and hear out all the reasons why you couldn’t sleep. I assumed that I was the someone you’d have deep affection for. As time passes by I realized that in the story of us, we weren’t reading it the same way. I read you as my soulmate while you read me as a fling.