Being Alone Is Different From Lonely

Written By Dyn Lagrimas - Aspiring writer; potato chips monster. 


Being Alone Is Different From Lonely

We all felt the feeling of missing someone, did we not? I know I do. The idea of ending a relationship used to scare the hell out of me. I hate changes; I was scared of trying out new things. The idea of being alone used to sadden me; I thought if I’m alone now, I’m alone forever.

But, boy, was I wrong. It has been years now since my then-partner decided we should stop dating. First months were undeniably hard; I cried myself to sleep for nights. But, hey, who did not? I was hurt; I was mourning for our love that just died.

I always thought about the life of living without him when we were still together, I thought to stay and to endure all the pain would be better than seeing him with another girl, but then I figured all along, a relationship is worth nothing if your partner does not see your worth in the first place. Forcing yourself to a person will not make anything better but just adding salt to an open wound.
First months were hard, but it will all get better. As times passed by, I realized that living without him means living without limitations, I can finally do the things I have always wanted to do, befriend with people he once told me to avoid, go to places he never wanted to go. I stopped living to meet his standards, expectations.

Being alone does not technically means you are lonely. In fact, you can do much more things when you are by yourself than when you are with someone who does not see the importance of whatever you are doing, or its worth. You learn how to be independent, stand on your own feet, and be strong for yourself because you know there is nobody else who will be strong for you but you.

I stopped worrying about myself, I mean if I’m doing things right, if I followed his instructions, if I made him happy, and etc. I started caring for myself more, did the things he fail to do, told myself the things he forgot to say and made myself feel special unlike what he did.
I am not saying that being alone is a better option than being with someone you love, but it is if you do not seem like in a relationship alone. Fighting in a relationship is normal, but do not make it a norm. You did not enter a relationship to argue things over and over again, but you did because you want your life to be better with the person you love, and fighting does not make things better. Fighting for each other is way better than fighting with one another.

They said that if a person loves you but left you, he will come back. I think it is better if that person really loves you, he will never leave you, and he will never hurt you intentionally. Maybe that kind of prince only exist in the fiction world, and maybe gentlemen extinct a long time ago, but I still believe that there is goodness in every heart.

Appreciate the things you still have, you cannot always leave and come back if you find yourself looking for what you had before. You are not playing soccer to kick things out of the way and come running behind to catch it again.

Someday, all those who tolerates the pain they are going through will stand up to fight for themselves. They will not regret for they know they fought for the things they thought would make them happy, and did everything to feel the love they are longing for. And you will find yourself regretting not taking good care of the treasure you have in your hands.

Being alone is not a weakness; I learned that the hard way. I was stubborn at first, making myself believe that I needed someone in order to live. But I was blinded with my own fantasies. I have friends, I have family, and I know they will always be there when I’m in need. Being alone simply means you can stand on your own, and be strong for yourself.

The idea of not being in a relationship scares people for they see it being a lonely life; you choose what happens with your life, you choose your own happiness, so if you think that that will make you sad, then it definitely will. You closed your mind with alternate options you can be happy other than being in a relationship. Plus, what joy would a person who only destroys you bring in your life? You can go a long way knowing that no one is capable of hurting you, or your feelings.

Stop limiting your happiness; stop depending your happiness to other people. Be your own self, be happy with who and what you are; laugh at your own jokes. You choose your happiness, you choose to smile to whatever you want. Do not let anyone command you with anything you do not like. Control your smiles; control your life.